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5 Family Goals Survival Nigeria

This is the month of love.  Aren’t you excited?  As you visit stores and different hotels and restaurants, you would find a hint or red and the heart shape everywhere.  As we are looking to the first quarter of 2018, we have discussed various topics on Goals.  The 7 Goal thieves, Civic Goals, Health Goals, and our Nation’s security goals.  Let us talk about something more intimate and vital to the success of our nation.  What about our family goals to Transform Nigeria?  Everything begins at home and in the family.  It is from there our value system emerges.  Our families bring up the essence of our character and behavior.  Most psychologists address their patients based on their experiences in their family unit.  As we look at our 2018 goals, let us discuss the 5 Family goals Survival Nigeria.

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1. Communication

In a family unit, it is important that communication is paramount.  Couples that communicate have a high chance of success in the marriages or relationships.  In the patriarchal system in Nigeria, the men tend to think that women have no voice.  They view us as a piece of property that is a trinket in their home.  Some women are unreasonable and do not make it an enabling environment for their husbands or boyfriends to be vulnerable to communicate.  Children feel scared to speak to their parent about issues for fear of disapproval and disdain.  Scars are developed because of a lack of communication in the family unit.  Let us create a fresh start in the family and increase communication.  Each individual should express empathy not judgement and speak words of inspiration not destruction.  It is not easy but it would be worth it in the end.

2. Transparency

Transparency is very important as we look into the 5 Family Goals Survival Nigeria. Because of the patriarchal nature of the Nigerian climate, women are not transparent in their relationships.  Especially with finances and emotional issues.  One of the many reasons is for the information not to be used against them in the future.  The men tend to be promiscuous and their partners want to protect their assets for the eventual separation or divorce.  Men in an attempt to amplify their egos may not inform their wives or girlfriends of their plans.  Women tend to gossip about their partners to friends and family.  Their partners end up becoming guarded because their partners lack discretion.  This causes a break down of trust and the both parties are guarded to avoid heartbreak.

Trust is like a clean sheet of paper, once it is squeezed, no matter how straight the paper looks, the creases of the squeeze remain.  It starts with patience and perseverance to build transparency and trust again.  In any case, it is important for each individual involved in the family to earn the trust of their partner.  Children should be able to trust their parents in the family unit.  When a child shares something with a parent, it is important for that information to stay private.  Otherwise, when that information gets out, trust is broken.  Parents, ensure that your children can trust you with their secrets otherwise, they will share with their peers and that may produce a negative side effect.

3. Love

Love is patient, Love is kind, Love is not jealous or proud.  It endures all things believes in all things and hopes in all things.  Love never fails.  This trait is the foundation of every family.  If a couple loves each other, they can go through anything.  Love is the glue that holds the family together.  When I gave birth to my first son, I felt an overwhelming feeling that I will never forget.  This feeling enables me to protect, guide and provide for him all the days of my life. I give my children constant reassurance of my love and protection for them.  With husbands and wives, it is important to get back to the core of why you go married in the first place.  If it was for the right reasons one which is love, there is hope for the future.

4. Integrity

Within the family, yes should mean YES and no should mean NO.  In our value system in Nigeria, people frown at candor.  In a family setting, a couple should feel comfortable expressing their positive or negative feelings to their partners.  Otherwise, integrity is in question and there a breakdown of trust.  In the Nigerian society, there is a problem with integrity within our government.  When there is a lack of integrity, anything goes.  Within the family dynamic, when there is a lack of integrity, that affects transparency, trust, and an eventual breakdown in love.  Children should live in a family dynamic where integrity is celebrated not condemned.  This creates a value system that translate to the society.

5. Respect

Respect is an import aspect of the 4 Family Goals Survival Nigeria.  There needs to be mutual respect in a family unit.  Respect as defined, is a deep admiration for someone elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.  For educated and assertive women, their partners need to earn their respect.  Their male counterpart does this through protection, leadership and financially providing for the home.  The woman should be respectful to her partner by affirming his leadership and protection.  One feeds off the other.  Parents should live an example that earns the respect of their children.  The children should feel an environment of safety and security so they understand that respect for their parents and other adults is mandatory.

The hustle of Nigeria is not an easy one.  The economic environment makes thing tough for people to thrive.  In spite of the challenges, we have to keep our families together.  As we reflect on our 2018 goals, it is important to understand that family is the core of any civilization.  As we look to transform Nigeria, we have to understand that family determines the value system.  One of the core reasons for the breakdown in value system is the family.  Let us create our 2018 family goals as we work to Transform Nigeria.

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